No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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