shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
