apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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