I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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