that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
