I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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