Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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