What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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