Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
