Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
