is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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