I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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