East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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