The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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