So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
