remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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