just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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