i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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