K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
