Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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