i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Randomize
