Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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