i don't like sucking hair
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
