Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
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RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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