shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
