So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
