Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
