Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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