Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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