dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
