I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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