Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
