the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
