drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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