she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
