Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I love having hate sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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