i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
