yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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