I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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