Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize