thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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