New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize