Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?