The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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