The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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