I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize