can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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