i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
