the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
