Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
