he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have fence marks all over my body
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
