I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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