have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
