I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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